sex positive feminism refuses to acknowledge how the patriarchy shapes our desire, normalizes female pain/submission.
and here’s where I get into TMI - I like being held down during sex and rough sex. I grew up in a world where that was okay, where advertisements showed that as sexy.
I don’t feel guilty about what I like in bed. But I refuse to consider my sexual desires as the one thing that escapes influence from societal pressures.
As a dirty sex-pozzie, I agree with the last paragraph, except:
I refuse to consider my sexual desires as the only thing influenced by societal pressures. What I wear, who I’m friends with, how I talk, what I buy, how I move—these are all socially influenced too, often in really nasty messy ways. So it annoys me, and honestly makes me a little suspicious, when this argument keeps coming up specifically over sexuality.
Everything I do is shaped by society, y’know? Let’s not single out the things I do with my crotch.
(Speaking of “everything”—asking women to scrutinize and doubt their own sexual desires has some hefty patriarchal taint itself.)