God we fuck up teenagers’ heads. We tell them that biological conditions are moral punishments and then we get all shocked when they don’t practice rational risk management of biological conditions. We teach them “sex is super desirable and all the cool kids do it, and it’s hideously shameful and will destroy your life” and we wonder why they act an eensy bit neurotic about it. If you tried to design a system for making sexually active kids confused and unsafe, you couldn’t do much better than the American media and school system.
And for once, the answer is relatively simple. Just talk about sex like it’s a part of life. Some people have sex and some people don’t, because people are different. STIs aren’t bad because they’re Dirty Crotch Rot; they’re bad because they’re contagious illnesses like strep throat or whooping cough, and you can ask a doctor to check for and treat them just like you would with strep throat. Unwanted pregnancy isn’t a scarlet A; it’s a mostly-preventable accident that sometimes occurs when people are going about their normal business of having sex. You can ask the school counselor about a variety of topics, including career planning, problems at home, questions about sex, or conflicts with teachers.
If we could just get the goddamn stick out of our collective ass and accept that sex is a human activity and teenagers are humans, maybe there wouldn’t be quite so many plaintive “I don’t understand my body and I’m confused and scared and I don’t know anyone I can ask in person” messages flying out into the world.” —The Pervocracy - “Teenage Panic.” (via klonazepam)
reblogging myself because WIL WHEATON
i will forever be dumbfounded by the SHEER SIZES of some prehistoric animals i mean
i still think HORSES are big but
cOULD YOU IMAGINE
GRAWWWRGARHHH *shoots flames*
Oh man, I just got the best (worst) comment on one of my old posts. I’m not publishing it on The Pervocracy, of course, because fuck that shit, but this is too entertainingly wrong to not share.
I have no idea about “our generation,” but I would want my own bedroom if I ever lived with a partner. I’m a hermit, I need my space; it’s not even about any specific practical need but a sense that I should have some time in my life when I’m subject to observation from absolutely no one.
But while I think this might be more common in our generation than previous ones, it’s not like The Thing Now or whatever. Lots of people sleep together because of economic necessity or different cultural framings than yours or mine, and even among people who can afford separate bedrooms and see it as desirable, it’s still “normal” for couples who live together to share a bed.
My mother has never slept alone.
She shared a room with her sister growing up, then with a roommate in college, then got married in college, then moved in with her boyfriend immediately after separating from my father.
I haven’t shared a bedroom long-term with anyone since I was seventeen. My sister and I got our own rooms when I was about ten, and then for one year in college I shared a room with a roommate.
I don’t bring this up to say that I’m better or my mom is worse or vice versa or whatever. Only that it’s a massive difference in our experience of the world. We’re from the same background and the same family, but I have an entire experience of solitude and privacy that’s very different from hers, and she has an idea of what it means to share your life with others that’s very different from mine. It would be surprising if this didn’t seep into our ideology, if it didn’t give us different ideas of how much of a person’s life is “supposed to be” shared.
There are giant divides between our experiences and our expectations that we never acknowledge or understand, and they’re not always in the obvious places.
From seanan_mcguire’s posting on Sexism, the current SFWA kerfuffle, and “lady authors:” in the comments, via jenk, a long lovely passage from Dorothy L. Sayers’ 1947 essay, “The Human-Not-Quite-Human”. Read the whole thing. The perception of this problem is nothing new… (via dduane)
I love me some Dorothy L. Sayers.
Okay, a whole bunch of people are asking me what happened with Ozy Frantz/Ozyreads/@_Ozymandias42, so here’s my best summation of events:
MAYBE if u didn’t want ur son to EAT poeple u shouldnt have named him something that rhymes with cannibal u should have name him hegetarian or something
I think it’s important to separate “dehumanizing” from “not for me.” Femininity is not for you and that’s cool, but it is for some people and that’s also cool. Compulsory femininity is bullshit, but femininity itself is not.
(I freely admit to fucking this up for a loooong time. Saying “I don’t want to be girly!” without appending or implying “because girly girls are yucky!” doesn’t come naturally in a society that’s all about doing gender and sex The One Correct Way; it felt easier to define a new Correct Way than to accept genuine diversity.)
There’s a lot of pressure on women to be sexy and domestic, but there’s also people for whom those things and/or other parts of “femininity” are genuine things they are/want. So I think you need to say “femininity/seductiveness/domesticity feels wrong for me” and leave it at that.
[cute thing happens between otp]
[slides down in chair and pulls legs up]
[long high pitched whine]
[straightens self out and continues reading]
Apparently I mutter and sigh at my computer a lot when I’m reading and I’m not always aware I’m doing it. Rowdy makes fun of me.