Anonymous said: Inspired by the last asker, hope you don't mind! I'm a cis(ish) lady, and I hate it when my guy goes down on me. I feel gross & self-conscious, and it just doesn't feel that nice compared to anything else we could be doing. I feel bad because my guy likes giving (he always prompts it), and I don't think it's his bad form. Is it normal to just not like receiving? How do I ask him to stop without implying that he's just bad at it?
It’s totally normal. I don’t like receiving oral either. And really, there’s nothing to do but just say so. Just tell him it’s not your thing. I can’t promise he won’t worry it was his technique, but you can straight-up tell him it’s not, and if he still doesn’t believe you, well… at some point that’s his own problem. You shouldn’t have to keep doing something you don’t enjoy just so he never has to face a moment of insecurity.
Also, giving it may not be as inherently important to him as you think. It’s easy to get caught in a loop where he keeps initiating it because he thinks you love it, and you keep acting like you love it because he keeps initiating it so you think it must be important to him. If he learns you actually enjoy play with hands/penis/toys/etc., then that may become important to him instead.