Anonymous asked: Your latest ask/reply reminded me of an argument I've encountered before and never known how to respond to. It's very minor in the grand scheme of things, but concerning equal pay in sports. People often bring up how women's tennis matches are much shorter than men's.. And so they end up being paid less. Is this an example of inequality or is it justified? Clearly, in usual work situations, woman work just as much and as long as men, but what about in unusual situations? Thanks~

My question is: whose decision was it for women’s matches to be shorter?  And whose decision was it that a tennis player’s pay should be based on the length of the matches?

The answer isn’t necessarily just “men”—some women participate in this too—but I really doubt it’s “female tennis players who decided that they didn’t like money anyway and this was a totally fair deal for them.”

Anonymous asked: My brother, who's a pretty big fan of your blog, and I had a debate on feminism and I was fairly miffed at the idea that modern feminism somehow strengthens women. Wanting to be paid the same amount for less work is 'strong?' Wanting to stay home while men fight in wars? Not advising women how to fend off an assault/potential rape? I just don't get it.

Well, you’re right about one thing: feminism isn’t about being strong.  Feminism is about equal opportunity and dignity and safety for people regardless of whether they’re “strong,” because you don’t have to be strong to deserve humanity.

After that bit…

No, women want to be paid the same amount for the same work.  Yes, women often do less paid work or lower-status work than men, but this isn’t because they’re on the couch eating bon-bons; it’s because they’re doing more unpaid housework and childcare, and because men have an easier time getting hired and promoted to high-status jobs.

Feminists have been fighting for years upon yeeeeeaaars for women to be allowed in combat and are finally achieving it.

I think what you were trying to say in that last bit was “not giving women advice that is completely unsupported by evidence, demands women severely limit daily activities men would take for granted, tells survivors that they were to blame if they broke any of hundreds of nonsensical rules before they were assaulted, and always merrily ignores the fact that the people in a woman’s life most likely to assault her are her friends and family members.”

In addition to the messed-upped-ness of referring to women only in terms of their relationships to others: what if she isn’t?  What if she’s a single, childless, only child with no living parents?  Does she matter less then?

(Source: riotclitshave)

"

God we fuck up teenagers’ heads. We tell them that biological conditions are moral punishments and then we get all shocked when they don’t practice rational risk management of biological conditions. We teach them “sex is super desirable and all the cool kids do it, and it’s hideously shameful and will destroy your life” and we wonder why they act an eensy bit neurotic about it. If you tried to design a system for making sexually active kids confused and unsafe, you couldn’t do much better than the American media and school system.

And for once, the answer is relatively simple. Just talk about sex like it’s a part of life. Some people have sex and some people don’t, because people are different. STIs aren’t bad because they’re Dirty Crotch Rot; they’re bad because they’re contagious illnesses like strep throat or whooping cough, and you can ask a doctor to check for and treat them just like you would with strep throat. Unwanted pregnancy isn’t a scarlet A; it’s a mostly-preventable accident that sometimes occurs when people are going about their normal business of having sex. You can ask the school counselor about a variety of topics, including career planning, problems at home, questions about sex, or conflicts with teachers.

If we could just get the goddamn stick out of our collective ass and accept that sex is a human activity and teenagers are humans, maybe there wouldn’t be quite so many plaintive “I don’t understand my body and I’m confused and scared and I don’t know anyone I can ask in person” messages flying out into the world.

"

The Pervocracy - “Teenage Panic.” (via klonazepam)

reblogging myself because WIL WHEATON

(Source: fuckyeahsexpositivity, via wilwheaton)

lostbeasts:

i will forever be dumbfounded by the SHEER SIZES of some prehistoric animals i mean

holy

friggin

shit

i still think HORSES are big but

would you

just

cOULD YOU IMAGINE

FUCK

Anonymous asked: I'm shipping you and Trogdor, burninating the countryside holding hands.

GRRRAWWWRRRHHHRAR <3

Anonymous asked: I volunteer to treat you as a dragon. As the first step, I'll begin composing epic poems of your fearsome deeds and the mighty hordes of treasure you have gathered, so that fledgling adventurers might search for rumors of your lair. Huzzah! ...I think I just out-nerded myself.

GRAWWWRGARHHH *shoots flames*

Oh man, I just got the best (worst) comment on one of my old posts. I’m not publishing it on The Pervocracy, of course, because fuck that shit, but this is too entertainingly wrong to not share.

Read more

Anonymous asked: How much of our generation do you think sleeps separately from their partners? My fiancee and I live together but often sleep in separate rooms because we have totally different sleep/wake schedules and preferences, and also we're both light sleepers and keep each other awake if we sleep together every night. I think we both feel a little weird about it sometimes because of the social pressure for couples to share a bed, but we both sleep demonstrably better this way...I dunno. Thoughts?

I have no idea about “our generation,” but I would want my own bedroom if I ever lived with a partner.  I’m a hermit, I need my space; it’s not even about any specific practical need but a sense that I should have some time in my life when I’m subject to observation from absolutely no one.

But while I think this might be more common in our generation than previous ones, it’s not like The Thing Now or whatever.  Lots of people sleep together because of economic necessity or different cultural framings than yours or mine, and even among people who can afford separate bedrooms and see it as desirable, it’s still “normal” for couples who live together to share a bed.

My mother has never slept alone.

She shared a room with her sister growing up, then with a roommate in college, then got married in college, then moved in with her boyfriend immediately after separating from my father.

I haven’t shared a bedroom long-term with anyone since I was seventeen.  My sister and I got our own rooms when I was about ten, and then for one year in college I shared a room with a roommate.

I don’t bring this up to say that I’m better or my mom is worse or vice versa or whatever.  Only that it’s a massive difference in our experience of the world.  We’re from the same background and the same family, but I have an entire experience of solitude and privacy that’s very different from hers, and she has an idea of what it means to share your life with others that’s very different from mine.  It would be surprising if this didn’t seep into our ideology, if it didn’t give us different ideas of how much of a person’s life is “supposed to be” shared.

There are giant divides between our experiences and our expectations that we never acknowledge or understand, and they’re not always in the obvious places.