disclaimer: i want attention. i want sympathy. i want company. i want to impress people and i want people to like me. i don’t really understand why i’m supposed to pretend i don’t want those things, so i won’t.
Anonymous asked: I've never heard of anyone saying they had PIV intercourse but don't count it as "sex," except for the occassional rape survivor. And yeah, I hear them on that - it was an act of violence, not an act of sex. So the previous ask is a bit of a moot point, as I don't see roving bands of people denying that PIV is sex.
Yeah, it was a bit of a “but what if someone identifies as a toaster?” of a question.
But you know what, I’m still willing to give that an “in that case, I would address them as a toaster, problem solved” answer.
Anonymous asked: "what you define as sex is up to you, you get to decide how many people you’ve had sex with" I dunno about this one I feel like you can't have PIV intercourse with someone and then be like "that didn't count as sex." xD
I dunno. This gets into where on one hand, we want the word “sex” to describe a specific thing… but on the other, it comes with a ton of baggage of “it was sex therefore it was a super big deal full of meaning, and even if it was meaningless, that itself has a meaning.”
As long as the baggage stays, I think the right to decline the baggage stays.
repeat after me:
- virginity is a social construct
- you don’t lose your virginity
- there’s nothing valuable or precious about virginity, it’s an imaginary concept
- virginity is inherently heterocentric
- your worth is not defined by whether or not you’ve had a dick inside you
- what you define as sex is up to you, you get to decide how many people you’ve had sex with
- the end
repeating with caveats:
• if your virginity matters/mattered to you, that’s okay because you are not a robot that can always decide what to care about
• also even if you were a robot, you would still be allowed to care about it because “my self concept changed when i had sex’ is not always the same thing as buying into all of the purity-centric, hetero-centric, dictating-other-people’s-sexuality, devaluing-your-own-sexuality stuff
Anonymous asked: I don't want to google it in case I get gross or triggering results, but what is a 'forced orgasm'?
It’s what it sounds like; making someone (usually someone with a vagina for physiological reasons, but I spose you could do it to a penis) have orgasms “against their will.”
The “against their will” is in quotes because this is (or at least goddamn well should be) consensual BDSM play; it’s not literally forced, but “forced” in the sense that it’s done while someone is bound or play-protesting and experiencing pleasant discomfort, but stops if they safeword or otherwise indicate they’re no longer consenting.
"This company’s policies are evil, so I won’t buy from them" - yes okay
"This company’s policies are evil, so I’ll let the $8/hr customer service staff know just how I feel" - please no
|me when i am mildly inconvenienced:||thIS IS THE WORST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME|
|me when i am legitimately hurt/distressed:||no no it's fine i've had worse|
Let’s take a moment to talk about this. I mean, because first off, “Tell cars not to hit kids.” Well, yeah, we do that all the fucking time, idiot. Ever seen signs like these?
We have classes and signs and laws about it, and people are constantly reminded. So your argument only works if we put up signs everywhere reminding assholes not to rape. But you’d rather talk about how rape victims have it coming to them.
But the dumbest part of this crap? Roads exist for cars to drive on. Children need to be careful to cross the street because they’re entering into an environment that exists specifically for something that is dangerous to them. The only way this shit is a valid comparison is if you think that bars, parties, and the world in general exists specifically for men to have sex with women. And I gotta break it to the guys who support this stupidity- your dicks are not that important. So knock off this bullshit and stop excusing rapists.
God fucking bless this commentary
Everything above, and:
Kids don’t live full-time in the middle of a road. They have to cross roads now and then, but they spend the vast majority of their time in schools or houses or playgrounds where there aren’t any cars.
But since the majority of sexual assaults are by someone the victim knows and often by partners, there’s really no option to “get out of the road” and go to a place there’s zero risk of sexual assault. (I mean, you could live alone your whole life and only go out for necessities and never have visitors, but that’s a rather larger and more depressing lifestyle commitment than playing in the yard instead of the street.)
If you think that sexual assaults only happen at frat parties and in dark alleys, then I guess this sort of makes sense? It’s still wrong, because we really shouldn’t be so complacent about “oh yeah, those places have rapists like swamps have mosquitos, nothing we can do about it”, but that doesn’t matter because it’s not true. Your average dark alley doesn’t have anything creepier than some really stinky dumpsters, because most sexual assaults take place in people’s homes.
I’d really like to know how exactly women are expected to “look both ways” in this context.
Anonymous asked: regarding the "happy porn" - I have found scenes fitting this description with the label "female friendly" (another can of worms right there...)
Yeah, I’ve seen it marketed as “couples,” too, which is roughly the same can o’ worms.
Although sometimes that means happy and sometimes it just means soft focus and slow-moving. They really need some clearer labeling there.
my fetish is women who actually look happy to be having sex and look like they have willingly consented to the situation and it must be a niche fetish because it’s shockingly hard to find porn of it
so bothered that porn sites have sleazy keywords for every race and body type and activity, and none at all for “happy”
(Which is not to say that there’s no happy porn. Sometimes you find porn of people who look like they’re having a blast. But there’s no sleazy tag for it, and I feel like that says a lot about the people who write the sleazy tags.)